Women investing in younger women—it’s not just a program, it's a command in Scripture.
But why isn't it working in so many churches today?
- First, we are primarily around people our own age and life stage. What Sunday school class or small group do you attend? I would guess most of you are in an age/stage specific class, like a young married class (or a variation like married with children or newlyweds).
- Second, the "older" women lack confidence. When talking to the "older" women of our church I heard over and over again, "I don't know enough to mentor!"
- Third, most women don't have time for something new added to their to-do lists.
What does make successful mentoring partnerships? The "organic" element. Instead of introducing two women who barely know each other and telling them they are now mentor partners, we should be encouraging relationships to develop naturally. Here are a few ways churches can encourage organic mentoring relationships:
- For women to mentor younger women, we need women to meet younger women! We need women at different life stages interacting with one another. Churches should encourage women to get to know each other through ministry projects and fellowship activities. Two women may meet and hit it off because they teach Vacation Bible School together. Or another pair may form when they work together to decorate the church for Christmas.The pastoral staff and ministry leaders can continually recruit new people for opportunities to serve so more people can meet and interact with each other.
- The older women need to know they have experience and knowledge that young women need! Susan Hunt writes, “If you are a Christian woman who is seeking to grow in the faith and to live obediently, then you are qualified for spiritual motherhood. No theological expert. No super saint. Just a woman willing to be obedient to the command to mother” (pgs 48-49 of Spiritual Mothering).
- Stop being cliquish! Sometimes the church doesn't have any control over this area, but you can start with your group of friends. Whenever you get together, invite someone new. Not everyone in your group of friends has to be married with young children, or an empty nest couple. Draw your circle of friends a little wider to include new people.
How has your church encouraged mentoring relationships? Has your church been successful with paired mentoring partners or do they encourage organic mentoring relationships?
8 comments:
I'm so glad you used the word "organic"! I don't care about organic food or clothing, but I am all about organic relationships, and I feel so left out by all the go-here-and-do-this ladies clubs in church that call themselves "ministries". These things DO minister, but only to a particular kind of woman who is comfortable in a (dare I say it?) institutionalized setting. I've told my husband I wanted my friendships and mentoring relationships to be more organic before, but I've never heard anyone else use the term.
I love this post. Thank you!
As a church plant member, we're only about 30 regular attenders which has had it's advantages. We have only 1 adult Sunday School class & a children's class. After starting a ladies' Bible study in the last year, it's been great to see the younger ones learning from the older ones (our ladies range from late 20's to 93). We learn from each other especially since some of the older ladies have been saved only a few years. They don't have lots of years of Bible study to draw from, but they have been great to watch as they realize how the Scriptures would have helped previous situations & how they can apply them to their lives even in their 80's & 90's! I have been blessed to have their experience & years & my experience as a Christian for nearly 30 years blend together to help each of us grow & become more Christ like.
I have found home groups to be a great way to encourage organic mentoring. This is one area the church leadership can have some amount of control over ... by developing home groups that are not demographically homogenous, we create natural mentoring opportunities - in countless ways!!
This is a great series and I completely agree with all that you've said here. "Theology is not just for the pastoral staff"--hear! hear!
Thank you so much for this series. I'm a pretty young women's ministry leader (27 yo). We have a once-a-month study for all the women in our church. About 4-5 attend regularly, all in their 40's to 80's. Many women only attend Sunday mornings. I've been searching for a way to stimulate and grow our ministry in a way that is attractive to those who are too busy or afraid of the group setting. This has been a great encouragement to me, as sometimes I feel I'm in over my head. =) Thanks!
I agree! I wish mentoring would be more organic. I lead a women's mentoring ministry at my church and I am surprised by the number of older women who don't think that they have anything to offer. I look around on Sunday morning and wonder why these older ladies are not plugged in. Until this can be encouraged from a grander scale, I am going to keep plugging away with a formal ministry to pair ladies up. Thankfully almost of the pairs have worked out at my church.
There is almost none of this at our very traditional church. In many ways, these kinds of ministries are not going to get off the ground unless the pastoral/admin staff supports & promotes it.
With that said, I think it's a fantastic idea.
I jumped off another blog to get to this one not knowing what to expect. Your blog today jumped right into my heart. I so want women of all ages in my church to worship and learn together. Please keep on keeping on. I am blessed by your sincerity. Marie
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