Recently, I got into a discussion with someone online that caused me to go downstairs, climb on a chair to reach the top of the book shelf, pull down a former favorite and dust it off. The book opened easily to my favorite chapters and was well marked. I wondered why I hadn't read it in a while. I used the author's research to support my viewpoint in the discussion and felt good about the exchange.
Then it was time to do school with David. Then we had to pick up James. Then lunch, then laundry, then playing outside and getting ready for Daddy to get home.
But the online discussion continued. And I remembered why that particular book was dusty. Five years ago (when I kept the book on my desk so I could easily get to it), I would have spent all day going back and forth, enjoying the debate. I would have typed so quickly that spell check wouldn't know exactly what words I was trying to use. More books would have come down off the top shelf.
But yesterday, I was busy. Too busy for the discussions that were no different from the ones happening five years ago. Discussions I loved five years ago. So what changed?
My convictions aren't different. My priorities have changed.
Five years ago, when I read Jesus' words in John 13:35, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another," I was pretty sure He meant, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you study hard, learn more, and argue convincingly."
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for those who study, learn, and argue. We need them. The my top shelf would be empty without them.
The Son is full of grace and truth (John 1:14). But after years of focusing on reading (studying, learning, arguing. . .), I was stuffing myself with so much truth, there wasn't room left for grace. God is now convicting me about loving. Loving more. Loving better. Loving even those who I used to see as debate opponents.
Turns out, loving is even harder than Greek. But I keep loving. And finding God's truth and grace when I do.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Steady Convictions, Changing Priorities
Posted by Sandra at 5:30 AM
Labels: Biblical Studies, Biblical Womanhood, Growing in Godliness
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2 comments:
Is it ungenerous of me to admit that while I agree that we need those who argue they also tend to make me tired? :)
I do not engage in debate near as often as I used to and I think the reason is similar to what you mentioned...a change in priorities. Loving right relationship more than being right. Great post!
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